My clothes!
by Glacier-to-be
Summary: 1st chapter. Something terrible happens to Simon. Or, depending on some other perspectives, something wonderful happens to Simon.


Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They belong to Aeron So—no no no, I mean Joss Whedon. If that's how you spell his name. Don't sue. Author's note: This has been sitting for quite some time, it's not as good as it could be, but I hope everyone finds this somewhat amusing. Please enjoy.  
  
"Oh! Simon, I'm so sorry," Kaylee said, as she sifted through a pile of ashes in the stove. "But you don't need to worry about going around naked," she said with a smile, "Mal n' Wash could let you borrow theirs until you get a chance to buy some new things."  
Mal nodded, clearly enjoying himself. "Sure Simon. We'd be glad to share. I can speak for Wash." Kaylee smiled at him.  
Simon scowled, picking out the remains from the pile. Two shoe buckles, and a singed green vest. Somehow it had partially survived it's terrifying ordeal.  
"Or, you could wear that by itself," Kaylee continued suggestively, "That'd be fine by me. That and these fine buckles—"  
"Please Kaylee," Mal interrupted with a pained expression, "stop them ideas goin' through your pretty lil' head, now."  
"All my clothes—"Simon moaned, "Those weren't cheap!"  
"Well at least we're going to a planet with a real city." Kaylee reminded him, and patted his back. Mal noticed that she looked just as cheerful as she had when they'd had real ice-cream the other day, "Plenty of places to buy clothes there, right cap'n?"  
"Yep."  
"I guess you're right." Simon agreed glumly, "But they probably won't have the styles I'm used to wearing."  
"That's okay," Kaylee tried to comfort the devastated man, "It'll be a new—"  
"I'm sorry Simon," River appeared in the doorway, her voice repentant, and her eyes cast down towards her bare feet. "I didn't mean to make you angry."  
Simon immediately felt guilty, he went up and hugged his sister.  
"It's okay mei-mei, it's really no problem."  
"I'm sorry I burned your thanksgiving turkey," River continued. Simon gasped, Mal laughed, and Kaylee was grinning openly behind Simon and shaking her head in laughter at River, who acknowledged Kaylee with a wink.  
Simon held River out a little and looked at her with a worried expression.  
"That wasn't turkey, mei-mei, those were my clothes. See?" He went over to the huge pan filled with ash and pulled out the charred vest to show River. River inspected the remains of his wardrobe.  
"Oh!" River exclaimed happily, "Wonderful, we get to go shopping! Kaylee and I can help you pick out clothes," she leaned in and told him conspiringly, "Kaylee has very good style."  
Simon turned to Kaylee who quickly hid her grin and felt her cheeks grow red.  
"Thanks River, but I'm sure Simon can pick his clothes out on his own."  
"No!" Mal and River both jumped at the same time. Simon cocked his eyes at Mal. "Has everyone forgotten that Simon's a wanted fugitive?" Mal added quickly, "Vinci is a very big city, with strong Alliance presence. Simon shouldn't even get off Serenity. If you want clothes, Simon, someone else is going to have to do the shopping. Zoe, Jayne and myself will be busy, you and your sister need to stay on Serenity. It's either Book or Kaylee. Or Inara if she's not busy."  
Simon began to protest, then caught Kaylee watching him carefully. This might be one of those times that he didn't want to offend Kaylee.  
"I don't mind," Simon forced out. It wasn't that he didn't like Kaylee's taste in clothes, but hers was quite different from his own.  
"Whoa, what's cooking?" Jayne said hungrily from the other doorway. "Something smells gorram tasty."  
"Simon's wardrobe." Mal said, "Wanna try the vest?" Simon tried to grab the vest away from Jayne unsuccessfully.  
"It does smell good, in a strange way." Kaylee sniffed at the air.  
"You're right," Shepherd Book agreed, coming behind Jayne. "Under that burnt smell, there's a hint of...rosemary."  
"I'm a good cook." River said arrogantly, "Rosemary adds flavor."  
"What happened?" Jayne asked, choosing to ignore Simon.  
"River tried to cook a turkey dinner out of Simon's clothes." Mal answered, "and now Kaylee gets to use his penny and buy him a new set of clothes."  
"Kaylee, no snobby rich boy vests and such, got it?" Jayne instructed. Kaylee almost nodded, then remembered Simon might be offended. He looked worried.  
"That's not for me to decide," she told Jayne, then turned to Simon, "I'll get stuff you'll love, don't worry."  
Simon gave her a grateful look, then walked out of the kitchen.  
Everyone turned to Kaylee once he was gone. She looked around the room, then back at the others.  
"Don't look so worried!" she protested, then added slyly "I've got everything under control." 


End file.
